Then, she blocks me. The VERY NEXT DAY she called suggesting I look her up on facebook. Now another gold ring is been missing and he denies it. What she did do was lie, manipulate, triangulate relationships, curt me off a handful of times, etc. I had heard that Narcs dont know what they are but I think deep down they do. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with being your sun, monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity, keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly, keeping you down. It is terrible to read these things. He said it was work related. Im trying hard to remain civil here, I wish there were a way to warn young adults against these predators. One day that dog bit my friend, at the time a 5 year old kid. Its like waiting for the other shoe to drop. You will find that you will have good days and then feel like youre back at day one. Since I feel like the walking dead and a non-functional parasite to society, any suggestions on what can I do? No engagement is the best way to handle this kind of event. Yes loyalty is NOT their strong suit thats for sure. yours may be BPD, but then its the psychopathicsorry the worst psycho. Then he sent a picture of his dick to one of my best friends and he said it had been an accident. I received a text from her shortly after her borrowing the money that she had a check in the mail for me! lol Not as easy as i first thought. I love not being that tree falling in the forest. Not an emotional goodbye. Not a friend I want to keep, thank you very much. Kim Saeed and Meeks Fire Media, LLC 2013-2023. This has been the most difficult, confusing relationship. This is who he is and this is what I get kind of thing. If someone approaches you with urgent info, simply tell them thanks but that youve moved on from all of that and prefer not to discuss anything involving him. Thank you you are inspiring and reassuring, Great article, Kristen. The sooner you see that everythjng is about them, their is a pattern you get caught up in with them. Why Cant I Just Leave? A lot harder. Try relaxing music. The love-bombing stage is over. Then i wrote angree letters and did not hear from him till now. Why is this important?? Its difficult to comprehend that the person I was with was an imposter. You know the relationship was destructive and unhealthy, even though you may want to get back together. This and her finally admitting it was her ex in the car broke me. Its spiritual and transcends friendship. Accepting him as a friend too soon confused me about my new relationship and caused me angst. It is all a game to them And yes, work on yourself and commit to attracting HEALTHY women in to your life! They will spend that time obsessing over what they did wrong and how they can become the perfect lover when the narcissist returns. Indifference is all I can muster now, and that beats anger, resentment and sadness any day. I listen I watch but I just see his weakness and, regardless of this, his attempt to appear respectable. Twice shes also been informally diagnosed with Bipolar by 2 different therapists. What I Much can be revealed. Once we became a relationship I let her stay by me (big mistake), oblivious to the fact that this charming person who Im starting to love and who loves animals and loves music like me ..etcoblivious to the fact that one day I will look pretty much at the devil itselfWhen I wasnt home she searched my computer for everything and went through all my stuff.etc I did a lot for this person and bought her stuff.,..even though she didnt really do much for me.. I just wanted to add when I say what about you attracted her, I didnt mean anything negative in you. In hindsight there were so many odd things about his behavior and how he described his life (practically no interest in anything about my real life), but I also like eccentric, shy people and a bit of a dark side. Finally, they discard you for some reason that usually seems inexplicable. Number kept picking up & hanging up on him; he dont know what in the H is happening. The trauma bond. Him and I have a son who will be three tomorrow. So many things about human behavior have come into sharp focus for me, and it caused me to take a major step back before proceeding to date others. I initially went NC, would give in to talking to him and he would say something upsetting.back to NC. But I need to get over this hump so I can move on completely. (or so im told) To escape this situation she married an older man. Before I learned about narcissism, I just couldnt understand his Jekkyl and Hyde behaviorIve been four months no contact, and he hasnt tried to contract me once, which hurts me a lot, even thought I should be happy. However, I cant and wont tolerate slanderous accusations, blaming and unnecessary and constant fault finding/criticism. I have cut contact from him again (following several arguments culminating in him threatening to contact the police because I apparently disrespected him); but it has been getting difficult to keep the ties cut, but this article has motivated me to stay away from his damaging behaviours and to have more respect for myself. And this wasnt just in the beginning..he was this way consistently for the entire two years we were together. Jason, from one guy to another it aint easy getting over this. Jill, the Great Anna V called it Hell demon school where they all went to learn the craft of abuse. He wont find better, but I wont be around to find out! I think my Narc was surprised at how much I knew. Not reliable. She proceeded to tell me she has been fired from her job. My narc always told me it was in the house and even offered help to find. That answer depends on the type of person you are. Im worried he wants revenge. Finally it is on record. Seems to me it was a lie to keep the door open and to justify his sick advances. Good Luck. Im here to tell you the one wayhow to know if a narcissist is finished with you. He can shut the cable off and when Im ready, Ill set the boxes in a garbage bag and sit it near my mailbox on the road but he wont have the luxury of seeing me at any time if I can help it at my door. After months of no contact and his pitiful attempts at contact, I relented to a limited contact relationship as long as it didnt affect my significant other. The next best thing is to create a scenario in which the narcissist would never want to contact you because they would have nothing to gain. I directed a question, specifically to HER, and she couldnt even answer completely before he jumped in with HIS opinion. Also, my husbands girlfriend was beaten very badly by her alcoholic ex and she has a special needs child. I just got an email last week after 7 years. Im not responding to any more calls or texts. He sounded like he is talking to me.. My daughter said the same thing.. she felt that he was talking to me. This was to much for me and I half heartedly ended things. Either that, or he is just like her, and they will put each other through it together. I went no contact with him about three weeks ago and it hasnt been easy but also not quite as hard as I expected. After first break up there was No Contact for a year and a half and when I finally forgot all of the things that occurred and I was quickly back in a whirlwind romance; only to move back into the list above. Specifically, Narcs cannot have intimate bonds of friendship. Reading Suggestion: How to make a Narcissist Miserable? But one night in the three mounths and rest of the time deal with his Narcism. When I turned around, he was behind me so I went into the house and pushed my door together while I gathered up the equipment then I took it outside on the porch and handed it to him. . But later i felt he was meaning it. I was married for 23 years, knew her for 25. As to the rest of them, with higher or lesser degree of sadism, seeing the Narc actions, as a result of unconscious is exactly what gets/keeps people in trouble. But.. after three days of loving promisses and announcements,` I do antything what i can to make this relation better bla bla, i never want to lose you, you are the best in my live. Learn how your comment data is processed. That is her prerogative to change hers for sure. She looked even better than she did in high school, and more importantly, she was 100% my type. There is a tangible difference between BPD and NPD, even though the symptoms and the way the victim feels is similar. Once you can accept this truth, that they will not change for all the love in the world then you are on your way. I am going through a divorce right now because my husband met another girl at his job. Good riddance. Thanks for this particular blog, it was great to read the notes and letters from the individual in question of this life behavior. Im in love with being your drug, your dagger, your suicide note. Then I inserted the worst photo of the narc Id ever seen and said, Ill always remember you this way. These are a few I experienced. He had a steady and other liasons. Until i stopped challenging her because the consequences were outweighed by any gain. He accepts my terms which areno triangulation with his new paramours, no lying, no declarations of love and no meeting in person. She tells me that its usually when she is feeling weak after a cocaine comedown its all very difficult to accept. Its also why they appear so happy with the new supply. The narcissist will attempt to convince you that theyre the best lover youve ever had. I was hysterical and I called the police so they could help me get my belongings. You sound young. I put her first in everything for so long i lost who i was and what i want. They often cannot function in even simple, daily tasks. you will go on for a far greater than you can ever imagine LOVE yet to be. Your success story in inspirational , Hi, i have a question about the last part of the last sentence in the letter which i would really like to understand the meaning of it, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.. He said he gets bored easily.. After a couple of relationships he finally met Kym on a dating website and they made plans to move in together, except the date to move in got longer and longer He ended up giving me one days notice and left me a mess and in debt, oh and a fishtank full of dead fish and his cat too.. Ive left out a few things but I didnt hear from him (except from his FB posts with Kym on their trip through Asia and Europe) and didnt want to and was relieved that he had moved out.. Answer (1 of 23): If your ex is a narcissist, she believes that you and all of her victims are possessions that she can pick an use and hurt anytime she wants. But, most 17-yr olds I know are bent on learning their own lessons. He thinks he is a master. He sat there for a minute in the truck as I slowly strolled back up to my door. Slowly they will forget about you and move on. Think about that before you break NC. I used to wish I was the other woman at first until I fully accepted that my ex was a Narc/Psychopath (diagnosed). No matter what direction or action I take, someone will get hurt. They avoid spending time with you, especially in public. His sense of entitlement is scary. graciously letting you know that he isnt angry with you of course no mention that one should be angry with him for his appalling and predatory behavior They become overly critical of you. But his state of mind is never stable. And if you do let them back into your life, you can be sure that they will do the same thing to you again but make it even worse for you the second time around. There was never any financial links/obligations between us. So, having read on all these since 2009 so far, I concluded, THIS IS MY VERY SUBJECTIVE CONCLUSION, I WOULDNT TELL ANYONE TO TAKE THIS AT THE FACE VALUE.. all Cluster B disorders COME WITH NPD ANYWAY. Pictures of them in her bed and how much of a man he was between the sheets. The narcissist knows this and will play on the weakness of their ex. You see, creating an illusion of happiness is a narcissist's favorite form of post-breakup damage control. Reality They dont love you; they only need you for supply and domination. Something a very strong voice told me to not get romantically involved with him, and so we were just friends. This was said after i declined his pathetic offer!! Cameron was a friend and we were introduced via a mutual friend. Very difficult, but worthwhile. Enough is enough. Be safe and contact a Domestic Violence Shelter too, worst thing is when they know youre going to leave they act all nice loving even apologizing again. I dont mean telling the kids the gory details cuz that would only hurt them but when they ask you can certainly say some high level stuff. He needs to be seen as perfect a all times. She says the ex was just at her house and wanted to know if I still lived here because hes been calling and Im not answering my phone. Truth is that no one will understand the pain unless its experienced on his/her own. But I really dont think there is hope for them. A sad reality but true and admitting what i have become is important to me. Acting as if we are barely acquaintances. I married him because he begged me to marry him two years into our relationship. So interesting to read everyones stories. He is an emotional vampire who will steal your car in the middle of the night to get himself a fix. He seemed to need to be perceived as perfect in my eyes. That last part may not be healthy, but thats where I am now. I just need to share this as I feel lost sometimes, but on the right path.I wanted to share this, as I am scared of my ex. Wont tolerate slanderous accusations, blaming and unnecessary and constant fault finding/criticism knew her 25! You the one wayhow to know if a narcissist & # x27 ; s favorite form post-breakup..., at the time a 5 year old kid angree letters and did not hear from till! 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